There's no reset button (and that's good news)

Hi friends,

Lately, I keep seeing the same promise in YouTube and social media ads: reset your nervous system. Do this breathing trick, buy this device, take a cold plunge, and you'll finally be calm.

I understand the appeal. When you've been running on empty for months, a reset button sounds wonderful.

Most of us have had a stretch like that (I'm in one now), when we just want everything to calm down.

A recent explainer in The Irish Times (October 6, 2026) asked experts about this, including Dr Serena Lai and Dr Kevin Tracey. Their answer, in plain terms: there's no such thing as a reset, and permanent calm isn't the goal anyway. A healthy nervous system is supposed to rise when life asks something of you. What matters is that it can come back down afterward. Flexibility, not freeze-frame calm is the answer.

I find that a relief. It means our stress response isn't the problem. It was built for a reason. It helped you get through things. The patterns we fall into under pressure, how we react, relate, and retreat, make sense once you see what they were built to do. The work isn't to switch them off. It's to get better at recovering.

The practices that help recovery are not glamorous. According to the article, they include:

• Slow breathing, around six breaths a minute.
• Movement breaks during the day.
• Regular sleep times.
• Less stimulation in the evening.

None of these is a quick fix. All of them are things you can practice.

This is close to the heart of Built This Way, which comes out October 22. Painful patterns repeat because they were rehearsed under stress for years. Change comes less from one big insight and more from practicing a different response, again and again, until it starts to feel like yours.

Something to try this week: the next time you feel yourself get activated, don't try to stop it. Say your name out loud and talk yourself through it; notice how long it takes you to come back to yourself. That return trip is the skill. It can get shorter with practice.

Notice which of those four habits is hardest for you.

Wishing you abundant health, happiness, and prosperity,

Mark