Embracing Shadow: Push, Pull, Stop, Neutral
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Photo by Christina Wiebolt
Embracing Shadow
Grateful for Brave Participants
Hello friends,
Last week, I hosted the third retreat in my "Change Your Story" series, focused on the theme of "Our Shadow Selves." It was intense but gratifying, as each participant walked away with increased self-awareness.
The Habit of Me
For those unfamiliar, the "shadow" represents the parts of ourselves often hidden from our view—the habitual ways we show up across different situations. In Eastern philosophy, it's called karma; Carl Jung called it Shadow. This unconscious programming drives our habits, emotions, impulses, and reactions. Shadow is tightly tied to our sense of self—who we are as we relate to ourselves, others, and the world.
Two Kinds of Shadow
There are two kinds of Shadow: constructive and destructive. Constructive Shadow comprises our virtues, the healthy urges to share, care, and be fair. Destructive Shadow, meanwhile, is driven by our baser instincts—selfishness and hurtfulness. Our reactions reveal our internal makeup—moral contradictions, secrets, memories, and traumas.
The Superpower of Self-Reflection
Yet, we all have the human superpower of focused intent, action guided by principle, and the resolve to change. Growth begins with an openness to positive influence and awareness—pausing and reflecting instead of shutting down or reacting defensively.
Let's Practice This Week
This week, I invite you to try a mindfulness practice we engaged in at the retreat: Push, Pull, Stop, Neutral.
- Push Assertive energy to aggressively pursue wants and goals, sometimes at others' expense.
- Pull A needy energy seeking reassurance, attention, or validation.
- Stop Defensive, closed off, resisting engagement or change.
- Neutral Open, balanced, and non-judgmental—the ideal state for self-awareness and growth.
It All Starts with Practice
Notice which energy is your habit this week. Reflecting on these easy-to-feel energies is essential shadow work. So simple. Give it a try, and let me know what you learn about yourself.
Join Next Year's Group
If you are interested in possibly joining next year's Change Your Story, Change Your Life year-long, four-retreat series, click here, and let's talk about it.
Wishing you abundant health, happiness, and prosperity,
Mark.
Answer the Call
What if the hidden patterns shaping your reactions could become the keys to your transformation? Shadow work invites you to uncover and embrace these unseen parts of yourself, empowering you to grow with intention and authenticity. By stepping into this practice, you can break free from limiting habits and cultivate deeper self-awareness. Ready to explore your Shadow Self and uncover your true potential? Click here to learn more and take the first step.
Questions for Reflection
What role does the Shadow play in your daily habits and relationships?
Reflect on moments where you’ve acted out of habit or impulse. How might those actions connect to hidden patterns or unresolved feelings?
Which of the four energies—Push, Pull, Stop, Neutral—feels most familiar to you?
Take time this week to notice which energy you gravitate toward and how it impacts your interactions and decisions.
How could embracing Neutral energy help you respond to challenges with more self-awareness?
Consider how being open and balanced allows you to pause, reflect, and act with intention rather than reacting defensively.
