What is love? What I learned on retreat
What is Love?
Hello friends,
Twenty-plus years ago, I spent a few months retreating in a Tibetan Buddhist monastery in Eudlo, Australia. It was a formative time—quiet, disciplined, and full of big, soul-level questions. One moment that stuck with me came during a teaching on love. Our Geshe defined it this way: "Love is wanting someone to be happy." That description landed on me. It was clear and unburdened—no drama, no attachment—just a wish for another's happiness.
Okay, Then, What is Happiness?
I've thought about that a lot over the years, and it's made me ask: What is happiness? What makes me feel loved? For me, it's not gifts, agreement, or flattery. It's when someone gives me their full, genuine, undistracted attention—not just any attention, but the kind that's warm, curious, and accepting. It's the attention that comes with presence and care. That's what I've come to call attunement.
Attunement Is Love in Action
Attunement means sensing into yourself, others, and the moment with acceptance, care, and a wish for a higher good. It's a practical, sleeves-rolled-up kind of love. It's being present in a way that lets the other person feel seen, heard, and accepted. When someone attunes to you, you feel loved. When you attune to someone else, they feel loved. And here's the piece that's taken me years to absorb: You can attune to yourself, too.
Shadow Work and Self-Love
Shadow work has taught me that we often turn away from the parts of ourselves we eschew. We reject the scared, angry, and needy parts. But what if we turned toward them with the same loving attention we'd offer a dear friend? What if you could look at your disappointment, your anxiety, your reactivity—and say, "I see you. I care. I want you to feel better." That's real self-love. That's healing. That's transformation.
Join Me This Year
This year, I'm hosting several retreats—each one an invitation to go deeper into love, attunement, and shadow work. Whether you come to explore your relationships and inner world or just to find some space to breathe and reflect, I'd love to retreat with you.
If you’ve been feeling off track, like something in your life needs realignment, this might be your moment to pause and attune to yourself. If this resonates, reach out. Let's make a plan to get you back to where you want to be.
Wishing you abundant health, happiness, and prosperity,
Mark
Answer the Call
If you’ve been feeling disconnected—from yourself, others, or your purpose—it might be time to return to what really matters. At this year’s retreats, we’ll explore love, presence, and the parts of ourselves that are still asking to be seen and accepted. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. Join me, and let’s create the conditions for deep connection, authentic self-love, and meaningful growth.
👉 Reach out now to explore which retreat might be the right next step for you.
Questions for Reflection
What does it mean to “attune” to someone—or to yourself?
Attunement is more than just attention; it’s present, accepting, and care-filled awareness. When you sense into someone else or yourself with the intention of helping them feel safe, seen, and supported, you’re practicing love in action.
How can shadow work deepen my capacity to love?
Shadow work helps you face and integrate the parts of yourself you’ve rejected or ignored. The more whole and accepting you become within, the more compassion and presence you can offer to others without conditions.
How do I know if I need to retreat or realign?
If you feel off track, numb, easily triggered, or like you’ve lost your connection to purpose or joy, that’s your signal. A retreat can offer space, support, and insight—so you can hear yourself again and choose your next step with clarity.
